What Is Hoarding Or Buying ‘Stuff’ Really Saying About You?

It is not hard to see what people value in their lives. Generally speaking, what you spend your money on determines what you think is important. In simple speak, follow the money trail and all will be revealed.

So how do we determine what is valuable, and how is it valued? What is a problem, and what determines the dollar spend to fix it? And what does it say about us when we continue hoarding and buying stuff, when clearly there are other more pressing issues at hand?

From the questions above we can see that seeking help to fix, manage, or solve a problem is not straight forward. There are many variables, beliefs, opinions and values associated to requiring, and/or seeking, to get help for a real, imagined, or a perceived problem. There are also lots of ways we avoid problems by buying and hoarding our way out of them... or trying to.

Some areas of life that require help or the need for a problem to be fixed are simple, accepted, and straight forward. Often these problems are associated to our needs and what we deem to be not negotiables - these things are considered far too important to ignore as they would tangibly impact our quality of life. In other words we can quantify and measure what would happen if we did not fix them.

For example:

  • If the car breaks down you get it fixed - if the price to repair it is too much you replace it.
  • If you wear out a pair of shoes you buy another pair.
  • If you get a leak in the roof of your house you get it repaired.
  • If you need food you buy it.
  • And so on.....

The above problems are dealt with in real time because they would cause us visible and measurable pain if we chose not to fix them. The outcomes of the above are self explanatory. There is a cost to solve these problems that is accepted - often with little if any questioning. Often they are fixed because to leave them would cause further pain or discomfort on some level.

But what about getting help for the problems that are not that tangible (not a physical object or service for example), or the ones you can put off because they are considered to be not that important?

Are there any bells ringing for you yet in relation to where your values really sit and what you are prepared to invest in getting help in your life?

Lets pose a few more questions:

  • Is your car and the money you spend on it more valuable than your health?
  • Is buying a new handbag more important than seeking help to manage/minimise the stress or baggage in your life?
  • Is the next trip overseas to help ease/manage the conflict in your relationship, more important to you (both) than facing the fact that the real issue (let alone the cost emotionally and financially if the relationship fails..) is that you both need to focus on getting help and clarification on the relationship itself?
  • Or is jealousy and conflict destroying your life, but you'd rather avoid it by shopping it away or blaming someone else for it...and not looking at yourself?
  • I could go on...

The point I am making here is that the things (and people..) we truly value are evident in our lives for all to see. If we value our relationships it is demonstrated in the way we treat people. If we value ourselves it shows in how we treat ourselves. If we value or treasure something, we take the time to focus on it. Imagine if some people spent as much time on understanding their relationship as they did on understanding their next travel itinerary, the assembly instructions for their new toy, or their plans for a bigger garage to hoard their stuff?

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No amount of glossing over a problem will make it disappear unless it is acknowledged, managed and embraced. Many of us are quick to fix a car, but will pay little conscious attention to fixing (read as improving) our relationships....or ourselves. We are quick to get away from the stress in our lives by taking a holiday or doing a big spend up, but fail to make the necessary connection that in a couple of weeks, or a few short moments, we will return to the same situations and feelings about them. Is that a smart way to live life, let alone a good use of time and resources?

How much would you pay to fix or solve some of the problems you have been ignoring, putting into the too hard basket, or the someday I will look at it pile? To reframe that for you, how much have you spent and hoarded already in avoiding your issues, and not seeking help or guidance? In the famous words of Dr Phil; "How is that working for you?"

How many holidays, or cars, or shopping sprees, pairs of shoes, (I recently spoke to a man whose wife had hoarded 141 pairs of shoes....yes he counted them all!) new furniture, or accessories have you purchased already?

"People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used."
- Dalai Lama

How much money do you estimate it may have cost you in avoiding to deal with these issues or problems?

Trying to mask or buy your way out of a problem by spending money around it to avoid dealing directly with it will not make it go away. Any amount of spending sprees, hoarding and holidays, and acquiring new shiny things, will only momentarily or temporarily take the focus off or away from them...or take your mind away from that problem. I love the words of Aristotle; "Wherever I go there I am." Your problems stay with you - until you face them and manage or solve them.

 

Life transformation coaching with me is a powerful and effective way to develop your awareness in these areas and to find out what really matters in your life. At a fraction of the cost of buying up and hoarding things to mask or avoid your problems, it might be time to invest that money in you!

As always, it is your choice, and it is a decision based around what you truly value in your life. You can always change and improve your life - and coaching with me is an incredibly cost effective, and powerful way to do it. To book a life coaching session with me, or to find out how coaching with me can help you, simply go to the contact me menu at the top of the page.

*Craig Hedge is a Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia.
He is author of the Instinctive Living self help ebook and audiobook series available on Amazon.
Author.to/craigwhedge

 

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