Author: Process

When you are considering any kind of professional help or assistance, you need to be cognisant of the fact that those with a hammer tend to think that everything is a nail. What do I mean by that? A high percentage of professionals, and an even higher percentage of pseudo professionals, really think, believe, and advocate, that their way is the best way forward for you. Thankfully I disagree with that kind of thinking or approach. So lets take a look at my perspective on the benefits, and the differentiation, between coaches and mentors.

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Firstly, we need to acknowledge there are 2 different skill sets here - completely different approaches with very different outcomes. This acknowledgement is important, because both will bring very different tools and perspectives into your life.

A Mentor generally has the knowledge, information, and the experience, a client/professional requires to help them along a particular pathway to further develop and to grow into. In short, the professional will be able to utilise and leverage the Mentors life and working experience in that particular area of expertise. So for example, a new CEO may choose to enlist the services of a former (experienced or retired) or current CEO that can guide them along that journey within that role. The Mentor is the expert helping another expert.

A Coach acknowledges that the professional concerned is indeed the resource. There is no giving/telling of information, or a directive where the coach is imparting knowledge or information to the client/professional concerned. Generally speaking, the coach focuses on the bigger picture. The coach is concerned with the opportunities and the capabilities that are already evident, and the opportunities and resources that can be further acknowledged and developed. The Coach sees the professional as the expert in their own life. This is an inquiry (question) based model and approach. The coaching process is about exploration and helping a person move forward.

To summarise, Mentoring often guides with direction by providing expertise and answers. Coaching is inquiry based, and seeks to help a client fulfill their potential, acknowledge capabilities, and to find alignment with values, beliefs and behaviours.

Can you see the value in enlisting the help of both a Coach and a Mentor? It is a powerful combination. Both independent of each other, but with enough benefit and some synergies to be a powerful and potent mix for a client or professional to help them reach new levels of performance and awareness.

So the question for the thinking professional is not so much;

[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• "Should I consider enlisting a coach, or should I enlist the services of a mentor?"[/green_tick_1_list]

It could be more along the lines of;[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• "How can I utilise the best available resource in my particular field of expertise (Mentor), and how do I get the very best out of myself, and become more aware of those things that not only hold me back in life, but those things that can improve my life?" (Coach).[/green_tick_1_list]

Do you see the differences here? Both approaches are very different indeed. Both are valuable.

As a coach, I am interested in the whole person. What they do, whilst important, is only part of the equation.

For example; What is their story? Where are their challenges? Where are the present or hidden opportunities? Where are their strengths? What really motivates or inspires them? What isn't being seen or identified here? Are their blind spots that might be clouding perspective or hindering growth opportunities? And so on...

If you are a professional person, and you are looking to achieve more perspective, more work life balance, and a better quality and appreciation of life, coaching can help you.

I love the old adage that says; "If you are what you do, then when you don't, your aren't." Its something I like to remind highly driven professional people about. Sometimes they strive almost tunnel visioned and focused towards being the best professional that they can be - to the detriment of the rest of their life, and the people within and around it. This isn't a smart approach - life is much bigger than that. Balance and awareness is required.

You are much more than what you do. A competent and experienced coach understands that.

Are you curious about how coaching may work for you? Simply go to the contact me tab on the home page to arrange a session.

Craig Hedge is a Certified, Accredited and Credentialed Life Coach currently living in Hobart Tasmania.

When it comes to personal transformation, it is incredibly important that you get a sense of who it is you are right now, and who it is you are choosing or wanting to become or grow into. You need to make what I call those necessary connections in your life to move beyond (to transform) your current situation. [green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• How do you define yourself?
• What (or who) makes you the person you are?
• Why do you choose to live the way you do?
• Are you consciously aware of who you are, the decisions you make, and the things (stuff), brands, images and structures you attach yourself to?
• What do you need to do, and who do you need to become, to get your life more into alignment, to the person, and lifestyle, you truly want to experience?[/green_tick_1_list]

Take a moment to think about the labels that define you, the paradigms you live and work within, and the brand, and daily billboard that is you.  How much of what you believe, what you value, and what you do, has congruence or meaning for you? Are you living authentically - a life that you feel reflects who it is you truly are? Knowing these things gets you closer to the personal transformation you may be seeking.

Those labels and paradigms I speak of include; your gender, sexuality, workplace, the car you drive, the house you live in, your clothes, shoes, favourite brands, music, friends and associates, family, where you live, partner, political persuasion, religious or spiritual beliefs, your clubs, the school you attended, your assets, money etc etc.

These labels and paradigms can liberate you and/or hold you back and restrict you.[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• The question is how do these things serve you?
• Do they help you or hinder you in your endeavours towards transformation?
• Importantly how would you know anyway?[/green_tick_1_list]

The fact is that our subconscious mind is predominantly running the show and superimposing its beliefs and values over what is in effect a relative inept conscious mind.

Renowned scientist Dr Bruce Lipton (Stem cell biologist and bestselling author of The Biology of Belief and recipient of the 2009 GOI Peace Award) states that; “The major problem is that people are aware of their conscious beliefs and behaviors, but not of subconscious beliefs and behaviors. Most people don’t even acknowledge that their subconscious mind is at play, when the fact is that the subconscious mind is a million times more powerful than the conscious mind and that we operate 95 to 99 percent of our lives from subconscious programs."

So what does this suggest? In simple terms it suggests that there are two programs running in ... and they often contradict each other.  So for example you might be consciously making real and concerted efforts to make changes, only to see a lot of those efforts come to nothing. Chances are the subconscious programs you have running in the background contradict and superimpose themselves over and above the conscious ones. Transformation show stoppers abound ...

Understanding this is the first step - doing something about it, or more to the point being someone about it, is the next.

Coaching, and in particular Life Transformation Coaching, focuses on action in alignment with your beliefs and values.

Are you starting to see the value perhaps, in exploring both your conscious, and subconscious beliefs, to better understand and calibrate your life?

Mindfulness, meditation, introspection and self/spiritual exploration are great ways to start the journey towards you. Enlisting the help and guidance of a competent qualified life transformation coach is another effective way to further understand you.

Having a coach as an accountability partner and a fellow co-creator can help you dig deeper and further understand what serves you and what doesn't. Transformation coaching is a great way to work on you in a totally supportive, friendly and professional space that is all about you.

If you are genuinely seeking and aspiring to change and transform yourself, ensure that you are aware of these subconscious programs that are effectively (and not effectively) running on auto pilot. Identifying what you believe and why you believe it is incredibly powerful and liberating.

Start becoming more aware of your thoughts and your behaviours. Are they in alignment with your beliefs and values? If not, its a sure sign that things need to change - or more to the point, you need to start getting curious and committed about being your best you.

Are you curious about how coaching with me could help you with your own personal transformation?

Simply go to the Home Page and the contact me tab to arrange an appointment, or to seek further information.

*Craig Hedge is an Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia. He is the author of the Instinctive Living transformational self development book series available on Amazon. Author.to/craigwhedge

 

 

 

 

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It is not hard to see what people value in their lives. Generally speaking, what you spend your money on determines what you think is important. In simple speak, follow the money trail and all will be revealed. But what is value, and how is it valued? And what is a problem, and what determines the dollar spend to fix it?

Lets follow up the title question with a few more to give a little more perspective to this:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Is the problem or help required measurable - if so, what is the cost and the value actually measured by?
• Does the cost of help equal (or is it < or > than) the value that comes from it?
• What values or importance do we associate or equate the level of payment to fix a problem?
• Do we make the necessary connections that getting help, and benefiting from it, means a better quality of life on so many seen and unseen levels?
• Is it affordable - or more to the point, is it avoidable based on the consequences of doing nothing about it?
• What are the consequences if getting help or solving the problem is totally avoided?
• How long is a piece of string exactly ;)...?
• How tangible is the intangible...?[/green_tick_1_list]

From the questions above we can see that seeking help to fix, manage, or solve a problem is not straight forward. There are many variables, beliefs, opinions and values associated to requiring, and/or seeking, to get help for a real, imagined, or a perceived problem.

Some areas of life that require help or the need for a problem to be fixed are simple, accepted, and straight forward. Often these problems are associated to our needs and what we deem to be not negotiables - these things are considered far too important to ignore as they would tangibly impact our quality of life. In other words we can quantify and measure what would happen if we did not fix them.

For example:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• If the car breaks down you get it fixed - if the price to repair it is too much you replace it.
• If you wear out a pair of shoes you buy another pair.
• If you get a leak in the roof of your house you get it repaired.
• If you need food you buy it.
• And so on.....[/green_tick_1_list]

The above problems are dealt with in real time because they would cause us visible and measurable pain if we chose not to fix them. The outcomes of the above are self explanatory. There is a cost to solve these problems that is accepted - often with little if any questioning. Often they are fixed because to leave them would cause further pain or discomfort on some level.

But what about getting help for the problems that are not that tangible (not a physical object or service for example), or the ones you can put off because they are considered to be not that important?

Are there any bells ringing for you yet in relation to where your values really sit and what you are prepared to invest in getting help in your life?

Lets pose a few more questions:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Is your car and the money you spend on it more valuable than your health?
• Is buying a new handbag more important than seeking help to manage/minimise the stress or baggage in your life?
• Is the next trip overseas to help ease/manage the conflict in your relationship, more important to you (both) than facing the fact that the real issue (let alone the cost emotionally and financially if the relationship fails..) is that you both need to focus on getting help and clarification on the relationship itself?
• Or is jealousy and conflict destroying your life, but you'd rather avoid it by shopping it away or blaming someone else for it...and not looking at yourself?
• I could go on...[/green_tick_1_list]

The point I am making here is that the things (and people..) we truly value are evident in our lives for all to see. If we value our relationships it is demonstrated in the way we treat people. If we value ourselves it shows in how we treat ourselves. If we value or treasure something, we take the time to focus on it. Imagine if some people spent as much time on understanding their relationship as they did on understanding their next travel itinerary, or the assembly instructions for their new toy?

No amount of glossing over a problem will make it disappear unless it is acknowledged, managed and embraced. Many of us are quick to fix a car, but will pay little conscious attention to fixing (read as improving) our relationships....or ourselves. We are quick to get away from the stress in our lives by taking a holiday, but fail to make the necessary connection that in a couple of weeks we will return to the same situations and feelings about them. Is that a smart way to live life, let alone a good use of time and resources?

How much would you pay to fix or solve some of the problems you have been ignoring, putting into the too hard basket, or the someday I will look at it pile? To reframe that for you, how much have you spent already in avoiding your issues and not seeking help or guidance? In the famous words of Dr Phil; "How is that working for you?"

How many holidays, or cars, or shopping sprees, pairs of shoes, (I recently spoke to a man whose wife had 141 pairs of shoes....yes he counted them!) new furniture, or accessories have you purchased already?

"People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used."
- Dalai Lama

How much money do you estimate it may have cost you in avoiding to deal with these issues or problems?

Trying to mask or buy your way out of a problem by spending money around it to avoid dealing directly with it will not make it go away. Any amount of spending sprees, holidays and new shiny things will only momentarily or temporarily take the focus off or away from them...or take your mind away from that problem. I love the words of Aristotle; "Wherever I go there I am." Your problems stay with you - until you face them and manage or solve them.

 

Life transformation coaching with me is a powerful and effective way to develop your awareness in these areas and to find out what really matters in your life. At a fraction of the cost of buying up things to mask or avoid your problems, it might be time to invest that money in you! As always, it is your choice, and it is a decision based around what you truly value in your life. You can always change and improve your life - and coaching is an incredibly cost effective way to do it. To book a life coaching session with me, or to find out how being coached can help you, simply go to the contact me menu at the top of the page.

 

Most people are familiar with, and indeed practice, negative self talk. It can be defined and exercised in any number of ways. In simple terms, it can be defined as using negative or self defeating language when referring to oneself, either in company, or when alone.

Unlike positive thinking (my view on positive thinking is that the value of it is relative to the person and the level of self awareness they choose to exercise in their daily life....but that is another story) that is more of a conscious pursuit, negative self talk is often done spontaneously and habitually in response to a behaviour or action. The danger of this is it becomes, in effect, a negative thinking or negative affirmation as it is repeatedly used and reinforced.

Regardless of the intention, the occasion, or the situation, the fact is that repeatedly saying or thinking something that negates who you are on any level of consciousness, is not a smart approach to building confidence or a healthy self image.

There are many examples and well worn adages that reflect this:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• "I'm so stupid!"
• "Why do I always stuff things up!"
• "I never remember to do that."
• "I'm hopeless at relationships."
• "I have a slow metabolism that is why I am overweight."
• "I'm a slow learner."
• "My memory is terrible."
• "I have a really bad temper."
• "Its not my fault that I have this problem its genetics."
• "Nobody will ever love me."
• "Why do I always attract this kind of person?"
• "I never do any good at anything."[/green_tick_1_list]

The above is just a small snapshot of the self talk we subject ourselves (and others within earshot) to. Some might think its harmless enough - after all it is only words isn't it? Words and language have power. Besides, what your conscious might think is a bit of a joke or a throwaway line, your subconscious might think (or more to the point not think) otherwise. It will just soak up what it hears and feels. If you are saying it and feeling it, the chances are that you are experiencing it - in that moment, preceding it most likely with previous similar comments, and most definitely following it as you continue to negatively affirm these things.

In short these words and personal affirmations (yes that is what they are - whether you like it or not) do not help or serve you. They hold you back, they limit you, and they tell you what, and who, you are not. So how do you start to get rid of this negative self talk, and how do you start re-programming your mind and being?

You do it by:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Becoming aware of the fact that you do it in the first place.
• Picking up on the language and the usual negative sayings and adages you use in these situations.
• Start replacing the negative self talk and affirmations with more life affirming or supportive ones.
• Begin to use these newly chosen words and phrases as replacements for the negative ones.[/green_tick_1_list]

You can have some (or a lot of!) fun with this, so it need not be some serious and intense exercise that dictates you must say and do the right things all of the time. This is about becoming aware of ordinary self talk and behaviours, and choosing better alternatives in their place.

It is about improvement - not perfection. As always, it is about accepting who you are and where you are in your life right now - being kind to yourself in other words.

For example you may come up with a list like the following:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• "I'm brilliant!"
• "I just seem to get better and better no matter what I seem to do."
• "This is pretty challenging - lucky i'm a patient person."
• "There are a lot of steps to go through here, just as well I have a great memory."
• "I seem to pick up things pretty quickly."
• "Lucky I have a fast metabolism."
• "I have heaps of time and energy for a relationship."
• "I am so fortunate I have so many great people around me."
• "I always seem to be pretty calm in these situations."[/green_tick_1_list]

If you are smart/focused enough, you will not only replace your existing negative self talk, language, and phrases, you will do it in a way where you maximise the benefit of it, by creating truly powerful replacement language and phrases that cover more than one positive attribute or behaviour.

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The language and the phrases you use in your daily life all have a certain level of power and meaning - for you. By acknowledging this, you start to make the connection in your life that what you say and how you say it can make a marked difference in your quality of life. Steps like these affirm that you are a creator in your life - and in your world. That is powerful.

Do you want to become more aware of your negative self talk, your hidden beliefs, and the language that might be holding you back in your life? Do you want to improve the way you relate to yourself and others? Life transformation coaching with me can help you identify these things, so you can consciously choose to move beyond them. Quality of life gets down to the level of your self awareness and your want to create a better life. To book a coaching session/s, or to find out how coaching with me can help you, please go to the contact me menu at the top of the page to book your session today.

How To Find Help

Where do you go looking to find help or guidance in your life? Who would you go to see to guide you? Why do you, or why would you, choose to go to see them to help? Its questions like these that can stop people in their tracks, or simply get them to delay or totally avoid making a decision to seek some guidance in their life.

It can be incredibly daunting, and indeed intimidating, for many people who are in genuine need of support in their lives to reach out to what is in effect a relative stranger. The world is full of experts and helping professions ready to step up and guide you along your journey. How do you find them?

I have touched on this before (coaching questions and answers) as I have differentiated and distinguished coaching from some of the other helping professions (a generic term used to keep things simple here) to indicate the choices and the wide range of services available.

One of the big issues and challenges, as I see it, is the unnecessary (not to be confused with necessary) use of industry and expert based jargon. That is, experts brand and seek to differentiate themselves and their services from other professionals and pseudo professionals in the marketplace. This often confuses clients.

It can be challenging enough for someone seeking guidance to try to wade through the long list of professionals that might appeal to them, let alone further sift through subsets or categories within those approaches. As an example, there are many approaches within a field of expertise. Coaching, counselling and mentoring as just several profession examples, can literally have dozens of different models and methodologies that can be practised under those profession headings. In short it can be incredibly and unnecessarily confusing for a client just wanting some good old (or new) fashioned service!

What can magnify the above is when a professional assumes a client/potential client will understand their explanations of what it is they do as they espouse, market, or persuade a client to take up their services. More often than not the industry language will form a part of this explanation - and often enough, the jargon involved will not be properly explained or discussed (let alone be understood).

This is a disservice to the client. It is assumptions like these that can inhibit and negatively impact the relationship and the processes and outcomes involved. From a coaching perspective, the last sentence can magnify the differential in the relationship between the expert and the client.

As a life coach, this is an area that I see and hear about all too often. I see the client as the expert, and an empowered one at that... but that is another topic and story for another day.

The fact is that most people really don't know what their professional does, how they practice, and what it really means anyway. In simple speak the client is generally seeking to solve their problems, to stop the pain, to improve their life, and to get on with living - to find help in other words.

What I encourage people to do is to understand what it is they really want to do, and very importantly, to also move towards understanding or knowing how they want to go about doing it. Often the client emphasis is focused on; 'this is what I want and this is why I want it.'

From my perspective, particularly as a life transformation coach, I strongly recommend a client look at the how component here to find help. For example:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• How do I seek the change I am wanting or looking for?
• How do I find the right professional or service?
• How much control do I want a professional to have in this process?
• How much responsibility and engagement do I want to take in this process?
• How will I understand what it is they are saying?
• How much am I prepared to spend or invest to find help? (and please recognise that these initiatives are investments in you and your life)
  [/green_tick_1_list]

The above list puts you the client in a position of more power and control to find the help you need. There is more ownership and personal responsibility involved when you ask yourself (and when you ask professionals) these kinds of questions. It can also be a precursor to a stronger chance of success as you go about this process and these changes with a proactive switched on approach.

A lot of helping professionals are simply not asked questions about how they practice, what it is they do, and why they do it. How do I know this? Because I am one of those people who ask! The response is usually; "I never get asked that question!"

This brings us back to the world of jargon and how you can navigate your way through it. I hope you are making the connection that it is by asking questions and seeking clarification, that you will find help, and get the guidance that you require.

If you do not understand the jargon or explanations of a prospective helping professional, then ask them to simplify it, or give you some examples of what they do, how they do it, and why they practice that way.

Don't be surprised (because they might be based on my experience!) that they are surprised that you would ask them these questions - as mentioned earlier, many professionals simply do not get asked these things.. as it is assumed that they are experts.

You are the expert in your life. That does not mean you know everything, nor does it mean that you do not require guidance or direct assistance at times. What it means is that you maintain a strong and healthy sense of yourself, and you empower yourself to seek that guidance, while maintaining a healthy sense of your self worth.

In simple speak; not giving your power away to others simply because they are an expert - their expertise may not be what is best for you.

Life coaching acknowledges that you are the expert in your life. Competent certified and credentialed life coaches will embrace these questions, as the coaching approach is centred around you being the expert in your life. It is a powerful, and indeed refreshing way to go about seeking guidance from a professional. It is what differentiates coaching from so many other helping professions and services.

If you would like to find help in your life, and actively be part of the solution as the expert in your life, you can arrange a coaching session/s with me. Our sessions together are confidential, supportive, empowering and importantly, they are all about you. Simply go to the contact me form at the top of this page or via the link provided to arrange your coaching session today.

• Craig W. Hedge is an Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia. He is also the author of the Instinctive Living transformational self development book series available on Amazon.

In the coaching world, identifying and understanding our various beliefs, is one of the key foundational principles and focus areas for personal change and awareness. Beliefs shape our world. They define who we are - importantly, they also define who we are not. They tell us what is supposedly or actually real - or unreal or unbelievable. They tell us who is right and who is wrong... or misguided perhaps. Beliefs are pathways to reality - that is, the reality we choose (consciously or otherwise...) to see and experience. Our beliefs can support us, or they can restrict and disempower us. Lets take a closer look at beliefs, and inparticular, lets look at belief traps.

 

Any individual belief is a potential belief trap (a belief trap in simple terms is any belief that limits you or causes/creates conflict on an inner/outer level) - positive, neutral, or negative. The key here is to start becoming aware of your beliefs. Sounds easy enough doesn't it? After all we know what we believe in and why.... don't we? The fact is that many of us don't clearly understand or comprehend what we believe in, or why we believe in it. Further to that, many of us didn't consciously choose to believe what we believe in - these beliefs were passed down to us....or pushed onto us for that matter! We were born in to many of them, and for the most part, we picked up a majority of them on our way through life through our various social structures - a potential minefield of belief traps in amongst it all!

“If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever.
Is that good news?”
– Dr Robert Anthony

But what does all this mean anyway, and does it really matter at the end of the day what we believe or not? It means a lot - and yes it matters! Our beliefs are like little boxes (paradigms) that help us formulate and make sense of our world. Importantly, we need beliefs to function and to make sense (create awareness) of ourselves and our world.

Make no mistake though, the depth or intensity of our beliefs, can seriously impact our lives...for better or for worse. Our beliefs, more often than we know or are aware of, hold us back from experiencing the life and the conditions we could live and experience... if we were not so adamant or attached to them. Yes...belief traps right there!

Think for a moment about what you believe to be true. [green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Do you ever experience conflict (inner or outer) when you either express or reflect on your various beliefs, or apply them in your day to day living?
• Is there a particular area of your life where your beliefs are creating issues for you?
• Are any of these areas creating pain or conflict for you consistently?
• If so, is the problem really out there with a certain person or group...or is it coming from you and your particular belief about those people or groups?
• Why am I so attached to believing something, and do I really understand how or why I believe in it anyway?[/green_tick_1_list]

If these questions seem a bit vague or need some further context, have a think about what you believe around religion/spirituality, family, gender, sexuality, relationships and your workplace. The key here, as always, is to start becoming more aware of you. Becoming more aware of  what you believe, and why you believe it, can help you to start (or to continue) seeing how your world and your place in it is based upon, and around, your various beliefs about it.

Life Transformation Coaching is a great way to unearth and uncover some of those blind spots and hidden beliefs...belief traps... that may be sabotaging your life and holding you back from your potential and your capabilities.

For example;[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Just one disempowering belief could be ruining a potentially great relationship, or holding you back from that next career move.
• That one belief may be ruining your life and your opportunities.
• What is a revelation like that worth to you and your happiness?
• How might it change your life and your lifestyle?
• Are you aware of some of your own belief traps and how they are holding you back from living a better life?[/green_tick_1_list]

For some people, finding these hidden belief traps can completely transform their lives. If you would like to know more about how life coaching with me can help you in your life, please go to the contact me form at the top of the page to arrange a coaching session.

*Craig Hedge is an Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia. He is also the author of the Instinctive Living self development book series available on Amazon.