How many of us have looked back at some of the decisions we have made with a sense of regret, or with a feeling of what if, or if only? The fact is that most of us have, and do, experience some form of regret at some time. It is a very powerful emotion.
The experience of regret can motivate us towards taking more considered actions in our lives when faced with similar situations - in other words it can be a potent, a powerful, and a very positive reference point and reminder in our lives.
All too often regret is seen as a negative force and experience in our lives. For example it can paralyse us, hold us back from new experiences and situations, and it can keep us from living in the present as we dwell on I could have and/or I should have situations.
Life coaching often seeks to use the power of reframing a/your perspective. That is, it explores a situation and looks at it from other angles or perspectives. This does not overlook or negate the very real experience or pain that might be associated with regret - but it does look at the opportunities that might be hovering just out of the reach of your current level of understanding or awareness.
Regret is a powerful reference point. It helps us understand what is important to us - or what was. It is a learning tool that helps us to develop more awareness and understanding in how we go about living life. It can also teach us about letting go of the past, or to let go of behaviours that no longer fit or suit who we are as human beings as we move through life. It can help us identify the level of gratitude in our lives for people or conditions that in retrospect, we perhaps took for granted or did not fully appreciate.
Rather than giving yourself a hard time over what you regret and being consumed or enveloped in the energy of what was, or what might have been, see it as another one of those guideposts along your journey through life.
Regret can be used as a positive force in your life. By simply asking yourself a few questions about a regretful situation, you can empower and help yourself move out of the victim mindset or victim consciousness of it.
Some questions you could ask yourself: [green_tick_1_list width="100%"]
- "What did this experience or situation teach me?"
- "What can I do in future to help me move beyond/transcend this situation, or to stop another similar situation from happening again?"
- "What do I really regret here, and how can I ensure that I don't let it consume me or overwhelm me in other areas of my life?"
- "What do I now value about life that I perhaps didn't before?"
- "What am I really feeling here?"
- "Am I overthinking or putting too much energy into this situation?"
- "Is it time to enlist the help of a coach to help me manage and/or move through this?"[/green_tick_1_list]
The questions are only limited by your imagination....and limitations. The key is to see your experience of regret as an opportunity for growth and movement towards the life you want to live.
Running away from regret will/may not minimise its impact upon you. Ensure you embrace the opportunities that come with it - when you are ready to do so.
Are you struggling or still challenged by, or with, regret in your life? Life Transformation Coaching is a powerful way of helping you reframe your perspective in your life - it can get you living and moving again. If you would like more information, or if you would like to book a coaching session with me, please go to the contact me page on the home page.
- Craig Hedge is an accredited life coach based in Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, and is author of the Instinctive Living self development book series available on Amazon.