Tag: life transformation

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Regret: The Opportunities To Use It To Your Advantage

How many of us have looked back at some of the decisions we have made with a sense of regret, or with a feeling of what if, or if only? The fact is that most of us have, and do, experience some form of regret at some time. It is a very powerful emotion.

The experience of regret can motivate us towards taking more considered actions in our lives when faced with similar situations - in other words it can be a potent, a powerful, and a very positive reference point and reminder in our lives.

All too often regret is seen as a negative force and experience in our lives. For example it can paralyse us, hold us back from new experiences and situations, and it can keep us from living in the present as we dwell on I could have and/or I should have situations.

Life coaching often seeks to use the power of reframing a/your perspective. That is, it explores a situation and looks at it from other angles or perspectives. This does not overlook or negate the very real experience or pain that might be associated with regret - but it does look at the opportunities that might be hovering just out of the reach of your current level of understanding or awareness.

Regret is a powerful reference point. It helps us understand what is important to us - or what was. It is a learning tool that helps us to develop more awareness and understanding in how we go about living life. It can also teach us about letting go of the past, or to let go of behaviours that no longer fit or suit who we are as human beings as we move through life. It can help us identify the level of gratitude in our lives for people or conditions that in retrospect, we perhaps took for granted or did not fully appreciate.

Rather than giving yourself a hard time over what you regret and being consumed or enveloped in the energy of what was, or what might have been, see it as another one of those guideposts along your journey through life.

Regret can be used as a positive force in your life. By simply asking yourself a few questions about a regretful situation, you can empower and help yourself move out of the victim mindset or victim consciousness of it.

Some questions you could ask yourself: [green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

  • "What did this experience or situation teach me?"
  • "What can I do in future to help me move beyond/transcend this situation, or to stop another similar situation from happening again?"
  • "What do I really regret here, and how can I ensure that I don't let it consume me or overwhelm me in other areas of my life?"
  • "What do I now value about life that I perhaps didn't before?"
  • "What am I really feeling here?"
  • "Am I overthinking or putting too much energy into this situation?"
  • "Is it time to enlist the help of a coach to help me manage and/or move through this?"[/green_tick_1_list]

The questions are only limited by your imagination....and limitations. The key is to see your experience of regret as an opportunity for growth and movement towards the life you want to live.

Running away from regret will/may not minimise its impact upon you. Ensure you embrace the opportunities that come with it - when you are ready to do so.

Are you struggling or still challenged by, or with, regret in your life? Life Transformation Coaching is a powerful way of helping you reframe your perspective in your life - it can get you living and moving again.  If you would like more information, or if you would like to book a coaching session with me, please go to the contact me page on the home page.

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Work Life Balance And The Life Transformation Connection To Achieving It

Work life balance, although a relatively new concept, is fast becoming a very misunderstood cliche in a world that has a very clear value set and agenda.  What is it? And how would you know you have attained it, or are even moving closer towards experiencing it? Who determines what it is?  Clearly this is not a one size fits all approach - and its definitely not some quick fix towards living a balanced life. Lets look at this a little closer as we make that all important life transformation connection...

So what exactly is this balance between work and life we talk about? It is what you determine it to be. You define it. Of course it is not that simple because your definition of it is dependent on the structures you live in and around. Independent of your values and aspirations, these are structures that you must work in and around. The majority of people working in the world work for a business, corporation, or part of a government agency or department. So the values and expectations of those businesses often superimpose yours.

Now before you throw your arms in the air and say it is all too hard or impossible to make them see things your way, it might be valuable to work out exactly what you mean by your way and whether you are fully cognisant or aware of what that really means or is.  In other words you need to know what it is you value and what it is you want to achieve by moving towards this life and work balance you may be aspiring towards.

Importantly, you can only control what you can control. You may have a work place that does not value or even recognise these things. If you do then you always have choices - always. For example, what can you do in your life away from or outside of work that moves you closer towards this balance? You might surprise yourself by the alternatives. These may include changing your sleep patterns, taking more interest in your health and body, taking up additional study, taking up a new or old hobby, focusing more on those things and people that are important for and to you.

The key here is to take action in your life to move towards the life you truly want to live and experience. Many workplaces offer some form of recognition to this work life balance - many are starting to make the connection to the benefits for all and the obvious win/win outcomes that can be achieved for all concerned.

So where does life transformation come into this equation? The more you connect to those things that resonate with you, those things that inspire you, the more you will start connecting to you more. One of the major reasons this life work balance has come into vogue in recent times is the fact that many workers don't have this balance. Many don't know what it is or how to get it. Why? Because they are so far removed from themselves after disconnecting from the important things in life for them, that they become numb and forget the human being aspect of themselves as they live their life as a human doing.

When we look back then on who or what determines what this balance in life is, we can see the incredible importance of being aligned to those things in life that give us this balance. Once you become clear, or at least clearer about what a healthy work life balance means for you, you can then move out into the workplace and the world and start consciously living your life in ways that support and demonstrate this.

When you know what is important to you - and by this I mean knowing your values, your aspirations and the way you want to live your life, you have a clearer way to move forward in your life with awareness. You gain more clarity. Your message is clearer. Your intentions are clearer. From this position you can start changing your life on your terms within the structures you find yourself living and working within. From there you create opportunities to transform your life on so many levels.

Work life balance is your responsibility. The more you make a conscious decision to connect to who it is you are, the better the chance you have of living the life you want to live. This conscious living approach is life transformation in action as you align yourself to the life you want and choose to live - not necessarily the life you fell into, or the one that you were sold or told to live.

Life coaching is a powerful and effective way for you to get clearer about what a work life balance means for you. To book a coaching session with me, or to find out more information, please contact me via the contact form located on the drop down menu on the home page.

 

 

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Life Transformation – Inner Change Focused Coaching

On some level in our lives we all seek some form of life change. For many of us the change we often initiate is what I call external change - change that is outside of ourselves. This change is often enjoyable and a release for us as we seek to alleviate or address what we might feel on a deeper level perhaps to be some kind of imbalance. Inner change seeks to initiate change from the inside out. This is where life transformation coaching focuses its primary attention. For those of us who seek genuine, authentic and long lasting life change, it is this coaching approach that offers considerable advantages as it addresses the whole person before a course of action is considered.

 

Why is this important? It is because the clearer you can get about who it is you are and what it is you really want, the sooner you can align to your true value base and your life purpose. Its no secret that a lot of people are living lives that they didn't consciously choose to live. They were born, they were given instructions, and they followed them. The instructions are often along the lines of; This is what you need to do to have a successful life. Clearly that is a simplistic explanation, however the point here is that so many of us do not truly think and feel for ourselves. We don't do this because we have not been taught how to do it, nor encouraged to do it.

From the day we are born our well meaning family and associates want the best for us. This is often demonstrated and experienced with a never ending supply of well meaning advice about how we should think, feel and live our lives. Think about that for a moment.....think about the consequences and the ramifications about advice and how it can take someone away from their life purpose and aspirations. Think of how many people have never truly experienced who they really are, and have never seriously thought about addressing that based on their acceptance that life is just the way it is.

The key to life transformation is to understand that if things are not working in your life you need to do some inner work - throwing any amount of things or experiences at the problem here will at best merely mask what is a deeper concern or issue. This approach takes courage and it acknowledges that your life does matter and it is valuable. It accepts that to really change something, you need to understand why it is happening and to then set out to move beyond (transform) it and the understanding or conditions that are holding you back. A life transformation coach would define these things as sticking points, as barriers or blocks, and as blind spots in your life. These things centre around your beliefs about life and the values that underpin these opinions.

Naturally life transformation is something that can be done without a coach. However the benefit of having someone by your side and working with you, is that you can move through this process with an accountability partner who is your support and sounding board. A coach can help you get to where it is you need to go (and that place is you first if you hadn't guessed) in a way that is in true alignment to your real values and the things that are important to you. In other words you start getting to know someone who is really worth your time and effort in getting to know. That person is you.

What is the pay off with this though? What does all this getting to know you amount to? Ever met someone with so much passion, energy and enthusiasm for life who amazed you with how much they loved their life and what they are doing in it? Chances are that this person/s are on purpose in their life and doing what they really want to do. There is no conflict or inner turmoil. There is no despondency. There is no resistance or indifference - they are truly engaged and present in their own lives. It is these people who are generally living (not existing) their lives and know exactly what it is they want out of life.

How much is that experience of yourself and your life worth to you? That is the gift of starting that journey towards you and your own life transformation journey. There are no magic pills or quick fixes here. There are however real opportunities to move from whoever or wherever you are right now, into a new world of possibilities and potential - if you choose to move towards that. So when you think of needing to change something in your life, remember that its the inner change work, that focus on getting to know who it is you really are, that will potentially bring you so much closer to the person you truly are and want to become. Transformational coaching enables this life change possibility in a way that truly supports you and acknowledges your journey towards you.