Tag: life coaching

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Left To Our Own Devices – How Phoney Are Your Interpersonal Communication Skills?

Todays world, and the people within it, are more connected than ever before. Our technology enables us to contact and communicate with others almost anytime and anywhere. The barriers to entry to use this technology are disappearing fast as most people nowadays can get access to this technology regardless of their financial position.

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To demonstrate this perfectly, I travelled for 8 months primarily reliant on FREE WIFI to communicate and plan my trip around the UK and back in 2015 - all on an entry level android device. With email and numerous social networks like LinkedIn, Youtube, Twitter, Google+ and facebook, we can all communicate to others (note not necessarily with others) like no other time in human history. Our devices have us communicating to each other more than ever before. As a Life Transformation Coach and passionate student of, and in life, I am by nature a curious person. I am genuinely interested in making my own connections and furthering my own learnings, un-learnings, and understandings. Like many of us, I see the wonderful opportunities these technologies bring into our lives - I also see some of the limitations that come with them.

Any opinion about the benefits and limitations I have is naturally limited, and in no small part due to my generation and my age. I accept and embrace this. Clearly I do not know what I do not know (there is a hint there for anyone wondering whether life coaching might be able to improve their life...) so with that knowledge/belief, I realise that I, most likely, do not make the connections or understandings to this technology like someone who was born into a world where these technologies already existed and were the norm.

That last sentence is an interesting point and one aimed at older generations that look at younger generations as being disconnected and device dependent. Has any older generation truly connected with, or been able to communicate effectively with a younger generation? Is todays ipad, iPhone or PC any different from any other technology from years/generations passed? These are questions well worth pondering.

Is todays ipad yesterdays Enid Blyton? Were children throughout history any more or less engrossed in the technology of their time, or seemingly anymore disconnected from their older generation/s than our current generation/s are? Can we start to become aware of, or indeed break this generational cycle of disconnection?

But I digress, the intention of this article is to get you thinking about your life and how you communicate to, and with, the people in your world. Our devices and our technology help us stay connected to each other. Let us not mistake that connection, or explain it away, as communicating with each other. These are two completely different things. We need to understand this difference to ensure we are living our lives more fully and with more awareness.

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In future blog articles, I will be focusing more on those relationships in our lives that we can improve as we make that differentiation between communicating to or at, and... communicating with. I will also be looking at the differences between doing with each other and being with each other. Once we start making those necessary connections in our lives, we start improving the quality of our lives. Coaching helps you make connections - connections that can change your life.

Our devices, whatever the technology (newsfeeds or newspapers, books or ebooks) might be, can be obstacles to authentically communicating and connecting with the people in our lives. As always, awareness is the key.

Are you having some challenges with your interpersonal communication skills with someone in your life? Perhaps a loved one or a co-worker? Maybe its a situation that has challenged you for sometime? Life Coaching with me (see what some of my clients say about coaching with me right here) can help you move closer towards managing, understanding, and moving on in - and through your life .

Would you like to learn more about how coaching with me can help you in your life? Simply go to the contact me drop down menu and email me via the contact form to book a session. Want to ask a question or provide your thoughts about this article? Feel free to comment below the article, or you can email me directly.

 

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Regret: The Opportunities To Use It To Your Advantage

How many of us have looked back at some of the decisions we have made with a sense of regret, or with a feeling of what if, or if only? The fact is that most of us have, and do, experience some form of regret at some time. It is a very powerful emotion.

The experience of regret can motivate us towards taking more considered actions in our lives when faced with similar situations - in other words it can be a potent, a powerful, and a very positive reference point and reminder in our lives.

All too often regret is seen as a negative force and experience in our lives. For example it can paralyse us, hold us back from new experiences and situations, and it can keep us from living in the present as we dwell on I could have and/or I should have situations.

Life coaching often seeks to use the power of reframing a/your perspective. That is, it explores a situation and looks at it from other angles or perspectives. This does not overlook or negate the very real experience or pain that might be associated with regret - but it does look at the opportunities that might be hovering just out of the reach of your current level of understanding or awareness.

Regret is a powerful reference point. It helps us understand what is important to us - or what was. It is a learning tool that helps us to develop more awareness and understanding in how we go about living life. It can also teach us about letting go of the past, or to let go of behaviours that no longer fit or suit who we are as human beings as we move through life. It can help us identify the level of gratitude in our lives for people or conditions that in retrospect, we perhaps took for granted or did not fully appreciate.

Rather than giving yourself a hard time over what you regret and being consumed or enveloped in the energy of what was, or what might have been, see it as another one of those guideposts along your journey through life.

Regret can be used as a positive force in your life. By simply asking yourself a few questions about a regretful situation, you can empower and help yourself move out of the victim mindset or victim consciousness of it.

Some questions you could ask yourself: [green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

  • "What did this experience or situation teach me?"
  • "What can I do in future to help me move beyond/transcend this situation, or to stop another similar situation from happening again?"
  • "What do I really regret here, and how can I ensure that I don't let it consume me or overwhelm me in other areas of my life?"
  • "What do I now value about life that I perhaps didn't before?"
  • "What am I really feeling here?"
  • "Am I overthinking or putting too much energy into this situation?"
  • "Is it time to enlist the help of a coach to help me manage and/or move through this?"[/green_tick_1_list]

The questions are only limited by your imagination....and limitations. The key is to see your experience of regret as an opportunity for growth and movement towards the life you want to live.

Running away from regret will/may not minimise its impact upon you. Ensure you embrace the opportunities that come with it - when you are ready to do so.

Are you struggling or still challenged by, or with, regret in your life? Life Transformation Coaching is a powerful way of helping you reframe your perspective in your life - it can get you living and moving again.  If you would like more information, or if you would like to book a coaching session with me, please go to the contact me page on the home page.