Category: Coaching

Get FREE access to a full four-part video series showing you how to build a REAL $100K PER MONTH business leveraging the power of Amazon.

It is not hard to see what people value in their lives. Generally speaking, what you spend your money on determines what you think is important. In simple speak, follow the money trail and all will be revealed. But what is value, and how is it valued? And what is a problem, and what determines the dollar spend to fix it?

Lets follow up the title question with a few more to give a little more perspective to this:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Is the problem or help required measurable - if so, what is the cost and the value actually measured by?
• Does the cost of help equal (or is it < or > than) the value that comes from it?
• What values or importance do we associate or equate the level of payment to fix a problem?
• Do we make the necessary connections that getting help, and benefiting from it, means a better quality of life on so many seen and unseen levels?
• Is it affordable - or more to the point, is it avoidable based on the consequences of doing nothing about it?
• What are the consequences if getting help or solving the problem is totally avoided?
• How long is a piece of string exactly ;)...?
• How tangible is the intangible...?[/green_tick_1_list]

From the questions above we can see that seeking help to fix, manage, or solve a problem is not straight forward. There are many variables, beliefs, opinions and values associated to requiring, and/or seeking, to get help for a real, imagined, or a perceived problem.

Some areas of life that require help or the need for a problem to be fixed are simple, accepted, and straight forward. Often these problems are associated to our needs and what we deem to be not negotiables - these things are considered far too important to ignore as they would tangibly impact our quality of life. In other words we can quantify and measure what would happen if we did not fix them.

For example:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• If the car breaks down you get it fixed - if the price to repair it is too much you replace it.
• If you wear out a pair of shoes you buy another pair.
• If you get a leak in the roof of your house you get it repaired.
• If you need food you buy it.
• And so on.....[/green_tick_1_list]

The above problems are dealt with in real time because they would cause us visible and measurable pain if we chose not to fix them. The outcomes of the above are self explanatory. There is a cost to solve these problems that is accepted - often with little if any questioning. Often they are fixed because to leave them would cause further pain or discomfort on some level.

But what about getting help for the problems that are not that tangible (not a physical object or service for example), or the ones you can put off because they are considered to be not that important?

Are there any bells ringing for you yet in relation to where your values really sit and what you are prepared to invest in getting help in your life?

Lets pose a few more questions:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Is your car and the money you spend on it more valuable than your health?
• Is buying a new handbag more important than seeking help to manage/minimise the stress or baggage in your life?
• Is the next trip overseas to help ease/manage the conflict in your relationship, more important to you (both) than facing the fact that the real issue (let alone the cost emotionally and financially if the relationship fails..) is that you both need to focus on getting help and clarification on the relationship itself?
• Or is jealousy and conflict destroying your life, but you'd rather avoid it by shopping it away or blaming someone else for it...and not looking at yourself?
• I could go on...[/green_tick_1_list]

The point I am making here is that the things (and people..) we truly value are evident in our lives for all to see. If we value our relationships it is demonstrated in the way we treat people. If we value ourselves it shows in how we treat ourselves. If we value or treasure something, we take the time to focus on it. Imagine if some people spent as much time on understanding their relationship as they did on understanding their next travel itinerary, or the assembly instructions for their new toy?

No amount of glossing over a problem will make it disappear unless it is acknowledged, managed and embraced. Many of us are quick to fix a car, but will pay little conscious attention to fixing (read as improving) our relationships....or ourselves. We are quick to get away from the stress in our lives by taking a holiday, but fail to make the necessary connection that in a couple of weeks we will return to the same situations and feelings about them. Is that a smart way to live life, let alone a good use of time and resources?

How much would you pay to fix or solve some of the problems you have been ignoring, putting into the too hard basket, or the someday I will look at it pile? To reframe that for you, how much have you spent already in avoiding your issues and not seeking help or guidance? In the famous words of Dr Phil; "How is that working for you?"

How many holidays, or cars, or shopping sprees, pairs of shoes, (I recently spoke to a man whose wife had 141 pairs of shoes....yes he counted them!) new furniture, or accessories have you purchased already?

"People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used."
- Dalai Lama

How much money do you estimate it may have cost you in avoiding to deal with these issues or problems?

Trying to mask or buy your way out of a problem by spending money around it to avoid dealing directly with it will not make it go away. Any amount of spending sprees, holidays and new shiny things will only momentarily or temporarily take the focus off or away from them...or take your mind away from that problem. I love the words of Aristotle; "Wherever I go there I am." Your problems stay with you - until you face them and manage or solve them.

 

Life transformation coaching with me is a powerful and effective way to develop your awareness in these areas and to find out what really matters in your life. At a fraction of the cost of buying up things to mask or avoid your problems, it might be time to invest that money in you! As always, it is your choice, and it is a decision based around what you truly value in your life. You can always change and improve your life - and coaching is an incredibly cost effective way to do it. To book a life coaching session with me, or to find out how being coached can help you, simply go to the contact me menu at the top of the page.

 

Most people are familiar with, and indeed practice, negative self talk. It can be defined and exercised in any number of ways. In simple terms, it can be defined as using negative or self defeating language when referring to oneself, either in company, or when alone.

Unlike positive thinking (my view on positive thinking is that the value of it is relative to the person and the level of self awareness they choose to exercise in their daily life....but that is another story) that is more of a conscious pursuit, negative self talk is often done spontaneously and habitually in response to a behaviour or action. The danger of this is it becomes, in effect, a negative thinking or negative affirmation as it is repeatedly used and reinforced.

Regardless of the intention, the occasion, or the situation, the fact is that repeatedly saying or thinking something that negates who you are on any level of consciousness, is not a smart approach to building confidence or a healthy self image.

There are many examples and well worn adages that reflect this:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• "I'm so stupid!"
• "Why do I always stuff things up!"
• "I never remember to do that."
• "I'm hopeless at relationships."
• "I have a slow metabolism that is why I am overweight."
• "I'm a slow learner."
• "My memory is terrible."
• "I have a really bad temper."
• "Its not my fault that I have this problem its genetics."
• "Nobody will ever love me."
• "Why do I always attract this kind of person?"
• "I never do any good at anything."[/green_tick_1_list]

The above is just a small snapshot of the self talk we subject ourselves (and others within earshot) to. Some might think its harmless enough - after all it is only words isn't it? Words and language have power. Besides, what your conscious might think is a bit of a joke or a throwaway line, your subconscious might think (or more to the point not think) otherwise. It will just soak up what it hears and feels. If you are saying it and feeling it, the chances are that you are experiencing it - in that moment, preceding it most likely with previous similar comments, and most definitely following it as you continue to negatively affirm these things.

In short these words and personal affirmations (yes that is what they are - whether you like it or not) do not help or serve you. They hold you back, they limit you, and they tell you what, and who, you are not. So how do you start to get rid of this negative self talk, and how do you start re-programming your mind and being?

You do it by:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Becoming aware of the fact that you do it in the first place.
• Picking up on the language and the usual negative sayings and adages you use in these situations.
• Start replacing the negative self talk and affirmations with more life affirming or supportive ones.
• Begin to use these newly chosen words and phrases as replacements for the negative ones.[/green_tick_1_list]

You can have some (or a lot of!) fun with this, so it need not be some serious and intense exercise that dictates you must say and do the right things all of the time. This is about becoming aware of ordinary self talk and behaviours, and choosing better alternatives in their place.

It is about improvement - not perfection. As always, it is about accepting who you are and where you are in your life right now - being kind to yourself in other words.

For example you may come up with a list like the following:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• "I'm brilliant!"
• "I just seem to get better and better no matter what I seem to do."
• "This is pretty challenging - lucky i'm a patient person."
• "There are a lot of steps to go through here, just as well I have a great memory."
• "I seem to pick up things pretty quickly."
• "Lucky I have a fast metabolism."
• "I have heaps of time and energy for a relationship."
• "I am so fortunate I have so many great people around me."
• "I always seem to be pretty calm in these situations."[/green_tick_1_list]

If you are smart/focused enough, you will not only replace your existing negative self talk, language, and phrases, you will do it in a way where you maximise the benefit of it, by creating truly powerful replacement language and phrases that cover more than one positive attribute or behaviour.

"A Home Based Business Opportunity - 4 FREE Training Video's - And 1,000's Of Successful People With Demonstrated Results - To Find Out More Click Here"

The language and the phrases you use in your daily life all have a certain level of power and meaning - for you. By acknowledging this, you start to make the connection in your life that what you say and how you say it can make a marked difference in your quality of life. Steps like these affirm that you are a creator in your life - and in your world. That is powerful.

Do you want to become more aware of your negative self talk, your hidden beliefs, and the language that might be holding you back in your life? Do you want to improve the way you relate to yourself and others? Life transformation coaching with me can help you identify these things, so you can consciously choose to move beyond them. Quality of life gets down to the level of your self awareness and your want to create a better life. To book a coaching session/s, or to find out how coaching with me can help you, please go to the contact me menu at the top of the page to book your session today.

How To Find Help

Where do you go looking to find help or guidance in your life? Who would you go to see to guide you? Why do you, or why would you, choose to go to see them to help? Its questions like these that can stop people in their tracks, or simply get them to delay or totally avoid making a decision to seek some guidance in their life.

It can be incredibly daunting, and indeed intimidating, for many people who are in genuine need of support in their lives to reach out to what is in effect a relative stranger. The world is full of experts and helping professions ready to step up and guide you along your journey. How do you find them?

I have touched on this before (coaching questions and answers) as I have differentiated and distinguished coaching from some of the other helping professions (a generic term used to keep things simple here) to indicate the choices and the wide range of services available.

One of the big issues and challenges, as I see it, is the unnecessary (not to be confused with necessary) use of industry and expert based jargon. That is, experts brand and seek to differentiate themselves and their services from other professionals and pseudo professionals in the marketplace. This often confuses clients.

It can be challenging enough for someone seeking guidance to try to wade through the long list of professionals that might appeal to them, let alone further sift through subsets or categories within those approaches. As an example, there are many approaches within a field of expertise. Coaching, counselling and mentoring as just several profession examples, can literally have dozens of different models and methodologies that can be practised under those profession headings. In short it can be incredibly and unnecessarily confusing for a client just wanting some good old (or new) fashioned service!

What can magnify the above is when a professional assumes a client/potential client will understand their explanations of what it is they do as they espouse, market, or persuade a client to take up their services. More often than not the industry language will form a part of this explanation - and often enough, the jargon involved will not be properly explained or discussed (let alone be understood).

This is a disservice to the client. It is assumptions like these that can inhibit and negatively impact the relationship and the processes and outcomes involved. From a coaching perspective, the last sentence can magnify the differential in the relationship between the expert and the client.

As a life coach, this is an area that I see and hear about all too often. I see the client as the expert, and an empowered one at that... but that is another topic and story for another day.

The fact is that most people really don't know what their professional does, how they practice, and what it really means anyway. In simple speak the client is generally seeking to solve their problems, to stop the pain, to improve their life, and to get on with living - to find help in other words.

What I encourage people to do is to understand what it is they really want to do, and very importantly, to also move towards understanding or knowing how they want to go about doing it. Often the client emphasis is focused on; 'this is what I want and this is why I want it.'

From my perspective, particularly as a life transformation coach, I strongly recommend a client look at the how component here to find help. For example:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• How do I seek the change I am wanting or looking for?
• How do I find the right professional or service?
• How much control do I want a professional to have in this process?
• How much responsibility and engagement do I want to take in this process?
• How will I understand what it is they are saying?
• How much am I prepared to spend or invest to find help? (and please recognise that these initiatives are investments in you and your life)
  [/green_tick_1_list]

The above list puts you the client in a position of more power and control to find the help you need. There is more ownership and personal responsibility involved when you ask yourself (and when you ask professionals) these kinds of questions. It can also be a precursor to a stronger chance of success as you go about this process and these changes with a proactive switched on approach.

A lot of helping professionals are simply not asked questions about how they practice, what it is they do, and why they do it. How do I know this? Because I am one of those people who ask! The response is usually; "I never get asked that question!"

This brings us back to the world of jargon and how you can navigate your way through it. I hope you are making the connection that it is by asking questions and seeking clarification, that you will find help, and get the guidance that you require.

If you do not understand the jargon or explanations of a prospective helping professional, then ask them to simplify it, or give you some examples of what they do, how they do it, and why they practice that way.

Don't be surprised (because they might be based on my experience!) that they are surprised that you would ask them these questions - as mentioned earlier, many professionals simply do not get asked these things.. as it is assumed that they are experts.

You are the expert in your life. That does not mean you know everything, nor does it mean that you do not require guidance or direct assistance at times. What it means is that you maintain a strong and healthy sense of yourself, and you empower yourself to seek that guidance, while maintaining a healthy sense of your self worth.

In simple speak; not giving your power away to others simply because they are an expert - their expertise may not be what is best for you.

Life coaching acknowledges that you are the expert in your life. Competent certified and credentialed life coaches will embrace these questions, as the coaching approach is centred around you being the expert in your life. It is a powerful, and indeed refreshing way to go about seeking guidance from a professional. It is what differentiates coaching from so many other helping professions and services.

If you would like to find help in your life, and actively be part of the solution as the expert in your life, you can arrange a coaching session/s with me. Our sessions together are confidential, supportive, empowering and importantly, they are all about you. Simply go to the contact me form at the top of this page or via the link provided to arrange your coaching session today.

• Craig W. Hedge is an Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia. He is also the author of the Instinctive Living transformational self development book series available on Amazon.

In the coaching world, identifying and understanding our various beliefs, is one of the key foundational principles and focus areas for personal change and awareness. Beliefs shape our world. They define who we are - importantly, they also define who we are not. They tell us what is supposedly or actually real - or unreal or unbelievable. They tell us who is right and who is wrong... or misguided perhaps. Beliefs are pathways to reality - that is, the reality we choose (consciously or otherwise...) to see and experience. Our beliefs can support us, or they can restrict and disempower us. Lets take a closer look at beliefs, and inparticular, lets look at belief traps.

 

Any individual belief is a potential belief trap (a belief trap in simple terms is any belief that limits you or causes/creates conflict on an inner/outer level) - positive, neutral, or negative. The key here is to start becoming aware of your beliefs. Sounds easy enough doesn't it? After all we know what we believe in and why.... don't we? The fact is that many of us don't clearly understand or comprehend what we believe in, or why we believe in it. Further to that, many of us didn't consciously choose to believe what we believe in - these beliefs were passed down to us....or pushed onto us for that matter! We were born in to many of them, and for the most part, we picked up a majority of them on our way through life through our various social structures - a potential minefield of belief traps in amongst it all!

“If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever.
Is that good news?”
– Dr Robert Anthony

But what does all this mean anyway, and does it really matter at the end of the day what we believe or not? It means a lot - and yes it matters! Our beliefs are like little boxes (paradigms) that help us formulate and make sense of our world. Importantly, we need beliefs to function and to make sense (create awareness) of ourselves and our world.

Make no mistake though, the depth or intensity of our beliefs, can seriously impact our lives...for better or for worse. Our beliefs, more often than we know or are aware of, hold us back from experiencing the life and the conditions we could live and experience... if we were not so adamant or attached to them. Yes...belief traps right there!

Think for a moment about what you believe to be true. [green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Do you ever experience conflict (inner or outer) when you either express or reflect on your various beliefs, or apply them in your day to day living?
• Is there a particular area of your life where your beliefs are creating issues for you?
• Are any of these areas creating pain or conflict for you consistently?
• If so, is the problem really out there with a certain person or group...or is it coming from you and your particular belief about those people or groups?
• Why am I so attached to believing something, and do I really understand how or why I believe in it anyway?[/green_tick_1_list]

If these questions seem a bit vague or need some further context, have a think about what you believe around religion/spirituality, family, gender, sexuality, relationships and your workplace. The key here, as always, is to start becoming more aware of you. Becoming more aware of  what you believe, and why you believe it, can help you to start (or to continue) seeing how your world and your place in it is based upon, and around, your various beliefs about it.

Life Transformation Coaching is a great way to unearth and uncover some of those blind spots and hidden beliefs...belief traps... that may be sabotaging your life and holding you back from your potential and your capabilities.

For example;[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Just one disempowering belief could be ruining a potentially great relationship, or holding you back from that next career move.
• That one belief may be ruining your life and your opportunities.
• What is a revelation like that worth to you and your happiness?
• How might it change your life and your lifestyle?
• Are you aware of some of your own belief traps and how they are holding you back from living a better life?[/green_tick_1_list]

For some people, finding these hidden belief traps can completely transform their lives. If you would like to know more about how life coaching with me can help you in your life, please go to the contact me form at the top of the page to arrange a coaching session.

*Craig Hedge is an Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia. He is also the author of the Instinctive Living self development book series available on Amazon.

 

 

 

 

 

Gratitude - The Missing Ingredient

When we think of living healthy balanced lives we often focus on the key areas of physical exercise, healthy eating, and getting a good nights sleep. Thankfully, in recent times more emphasis has been placed upon the other important aspects of mental health, wellbeing, managing stress (resilience is a word often used here to put a positive spin on it..another story for another day) and finding that elusive work life balance. Is the practice of gratitude the missing ingredient and the glue perhaps that can bring this altogether?

We place a lot of emphasis on what goes in to our bodies - whether that is food, vitamins, or information. But what about what we project outwards from our bodies and beings? There are plenty of examples of people in our lives who on the surface do all the right things to maintain health - yet somehow they continue to experience health and lifestyle issues.

The intention of this article is not to discuss the merits of a great diet or to promote physical exercise (although they are obviously important) - I will leave that to others far more qualified than myself to talk about those things.

What I am suggesting though, is that health and wellbeing is much bigger and wider and multi dimensional than diet and exercise. I often speak about making what I call those necessary connections in our own lives.  That is, becoming cognisant of those connections that help us become more aware of who we are, and how what we do and think, impacts us, and those around us.

Get My Book 'Gratitude Amplified' Right Here

So how does gratitude fit in to ensure, and perhaps fortify, a healthy approach and outlook to life? As a contrast lets look at the opposite of gratitude here (for example words and feelings like: pessimism, negativity, selfishness, anxiety, worry, scarcity, poverty consciousness, doom, gloom, etc) and see if this can shed some light on the importance, and indeed the necessity, of acknowledging and practicing gratitude in our lives.

It is those feelings and experiences mentioned above that can create a downward spiral that erodes or dents a persons confidence, self worth, and their health and wellbeing. Is there a common denominator here? Generally speaking there is. In simple terms it is an experience that focuses on what is not happening, what is not there, and what is not mine. In other words the focus is on what is not working or evident perhaps.

Hardly healthy thoughts or practices wouldn't you agree? Where is the evidence or demonstration of gratitude above for example? It is hard to see or experience life as this wonderful, and at times challenging journey, if we continue to focus on what is not happening to or for us. Gratitude is a way of staying on course and a reminder that our lives, despite our ups and downs, are actually pretty good for the most part....if we choose to focus our attention and awareness onto what is working for us.

Before I continue any further let me make it perfectly clear that I do not see gratitude in the same light as I see positive thinking. They are two completely different approaches.  I state this because it is all too easy to pretend things are not happening and to put a big layer of positive thoughts over everything in an attempt to improve or change situations. I am not a big fan of that kind of positive thinking...

The gratitude I speak about is not about creating positive thoughts where there are none, nor is it about developing mantras or affirmations (although they can be effective) to overcome or transcend certain situations.

Gratitude is about acknowledging what is already evident in your life. It is about being thankful and aware of all of those things that make your life good. These things are real. They exist. This practice of gratitude confirms your awareness of those conditions.

So how might you begin to show gratitude, and be grateful in your life, and where might you start? You start at the beginning. Sometimes (and this is particularly valuable if your life is focused on what is not happening or not evident) you start with things that might seem small or insignificant. You need building blocks and foundations to build upon - small instances and experiences of gratitude are powerful.

One way you can prepare yourself is to take a look at some of the video/audio programs around that can help you develop your appreciation and gratitude further. That aside, all it takes is an open mind and an intent to see good things and valuable experiences in your life.

Here are some examples to get you into the habit of practicing and acknowledging gratitude:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• I give gratitude and thanks for my health.
• I give thanks for my family.
• I am thankful for a great job.
• I am thankful for a good partner.
• I am grateful for living in a beautiful place.
• I am grateful that I have great eyesight/hearing/movement.
• I give thanks and gratitude for my creativity.
• I give thanks for my ability to adapt to life changes.
• I am thankful for the food I eat.
• I give gratitude and thanks for the experiences I have had that have made me the person I am.
• I am thankful for having the ability and freedom to choose.
• I am grateful for those things I may not be aware of that are working for me right now in my life.....now we are getting somewhere with practicing gratitude!

[/green_tick_1_list]

The above is a small list of things that barely even touch the surface of what you might be grateful for in your life. The key is to start focusing and looking at what is happening in your life, what you do have, what you are managing to achieve - and what you have achieved. It is an appreciation that life and its challenges brings possibilities and opportunities into your life. It is about the wonderful things and people that are in your life. More than that though, it is whatever you choose it to be based on your imagination and experience of yourself and your world.

Gratitude is about making those necessary connections in your life where your awareness starts growing and you start appreciating your life and the experiences and conditions you are creating in it. It is real. It is experienced. It is powerful. It is life transforming. And all importantly, it is something you can do in your own life right now. Coaching is a great way to become aware of, and to further develop your appreciation for life and your gratitude.

To book a coaching session with me, or to find out more about how coaching with me can help you, simply go to the contact me page on the home page menu.

*Craig Hedge is an accredited life coach based in Hobart, Tasmania, Australia. He is also the author of the Instinctive Living self development book series available on Amazon.

 

 

A common question often posed to life coaches is; "What is the best time to start life coaching?" The general response, albeit a patronising one, is that 'NOW' is the best time to start your coaching journey.

I am going to answer that question in much more detail and tell you why I think the best time to start being coached is when you are on holidays and in holiday mode.

Why is that? Have a think about your life and your work. How do you feel when your holidays finally come around? I'm guessing that for most people the answers would be centred around a feeling of relief and finally having the time to do the things they really want to do.

Often there is a build up and an anticipation and a sense of breaking free from the expectations and demands that go with living busy working lives. For many people their holidays are their reward for living the other 90+% of their lives doing something....or something's they would rather not do.

So why do I as a coach see this holiday period as the golden opportunity and the best time to start coaching?

Its because you are away from your working life and responsibilities. You have an ability and a much better opportunity to open to new ways of thinking, living and being. You are potentially more open, more relaxed, and of course you are totally removed from your daily routine.

It is this distance that enables you to better observe your life. You don't have to rush to get to work, or stay later to reach that deadline...let alone deal with your employer, fellow employees and your customers. You now have time (or at least more time than you had at work...) to focus on YOUR needs and what you would like to improve or change in your life.

However, what often happens is that many people simply recover and recharge their batteries during their holidays to go back to the same job/working situations and conditions to then repeat the cycle - year after year after year....

"See what my clients say about how coaching changed their life right here"

Is it any surprise then why more and more people are getting depressed and losing their hope as they fall into the habit of existing in their lives rather than actively living and engaging in them?

Instead of being excited and/or engaged in their lives they merely hang in there hoping something might change. Without conscious action it rarely does change - if you truly want change or a better life, you need to step up and start actively doing something about it. In other words you need to flip the switch and break the cycle.

Your holidays are a great way for you to explore new opportunities, new ways of thinking, and new ways of being.

What I would ask you to consider is to see your holidays not just as the opportunity to get away from work and the pressures that come with everyday life, but to see them as the wonderful opportunity they are to get closer to you and to reconnect to what makes you feel alive.

It is amazing how so many people will gladly spend thousands of dollars on their holidays, but wouldn't consider a mere fraction of that to engage a life coach to help them move towards a more fulfilling life and to experience better quality relationships.

I specialise in helping people reconnect to who it is they really are and to who it is they choose to become. What is your life and the quality of your family and relationships really worth to you?

I am currently available for personal one on one coaching sessions. A powerful alternative is coaching with me via Skype. To arrange a coaching session, or to find out more information about my coaching packages, please go to the contact form (or contact me right here) at the top of this page.

*Craig Hedge is a Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia.
He is author of the Instinctive Living self help ebook and audiobook series available on Amazon.
Author.to/craigwhedge

 

One thing I continue to learn and experience as a person and as a coach, is that there is no getting away from, or escaping from, the level of consciousness that flows through you. No matter how hard you might try, your level of success (however you define success) is primarily dependent on your ability to calibrate your intentions with your behaviours. To complete that picture, the driving energy behind this process is your level of consciousness/awareness. Lets take a closer look at what I see as the dichotomy experienced in the pursuit of attaining security and living a lifestyle.

Society tells us that security is important. A simple explanation of this is that we are encouraged to work long and hard to work towards a time when we have enough security to then live a comfortable lifestyle. Sounds simple enough. And really, for so many of us, it is sound advice...isn't it?

Perhaps for some of us it is. As a life coach, and as someone who is interested in understanding consciousness and the machinations of life, I am interested in what is behind the need to chase this security. For example what drives this? What is the energy behind it? Is it fear driven? If it is, is that a good or bad thing...or neither?

I am of course looking at it within the confines of a blog article. My intention here is to merely get you thinking about what security and lifestyle mean to you. Do you have a balance between the two as you live your life and endeavour to create a lifestyle....or do you focus entirely on the end game of attaining the necessary amount of security by putting lifestyle in the I will live that later once I have the security basket?

There is a danger in chasing security on a number of levels. For example how much is enough? Is your enough impacted by the other factors that complicate this equation or dilemma? For example are you obsessed or consumed (pun intended) to spend and acquire stuff and things as you move through your life? Do you make the connection that these things can take you further away from the security you are perhaps aspiring towards?

Has a consumer driven society based around a capitalist model of growth and consumption at all costs created a major hurdle towards getting enough security? If you are spending lots of money on stuff then aren't you moving further away from the security you need by spending the very dollars that will give you this security when you retire?

The other danger, as I see it in chasing security, is that it can create a consciousness of lack. In other words it becomes a deficiency motivation exercise based around the fear of not having enough. The trouble with that approach on an energy/consciousness level is that is what you end up getting and experiencing - you get locked in a never enough mindset.

For example a person who operated from this position may never have enough because that is what they believe and that is how they live and act out their life. Their experience before and after attaining security is one of never having enough.

So how might you navigate your way through this? One approach might involve getting clear about what is important to you and ensuring you find meaning and security in your life by living it right now. How might you do that? It is about being mindful about what you do have - in other words acknowledging the security you already have.

What does that do or prove some might say? In simple terms it flips the switch on the consciousness of fear, of lack, and never having enough, to one of a trust and appreciation that life is secure as it is in the now.

If you look at the first sentence of this article you may get an appreciation of what I am alluding to here. Metaphorically speaking, your consciousness is the fuel/driving force/the energy behind all you do. Get that right and your vehicle (you/your being, and your experience of the world) runs smoother and more efficiently.

Yes we live in a complex world with so many mixed messages and so many ways to live life. Just make sure you are living your life and that you are not just existing and reacting to life around you within a series of constructs and ideas that are projected upon you by others. Live with awareness. Start making those necessary connections I often refer to and speak about in your life.

Life transformation comes from experiencing new levels of understanding and awareness. Start looking for and understanding what might be really driving you in your life in your pursuit towards your own ideas and definitions around security.

Life coaching with me can help you become clearer on what is really important to you. To contact me, simply go to the contact me form on the home page.

*Craig Hedge is an Accredited life coach based in Hobart Tasmania.

 

 

 

 

 

I often remind my clients to align to their values.  These are not empty words, cliches or merely a throwaway line. It is a common phrase and a foundational principle of life transformation coaching. In simple terms this is defined as lining up what you believe and value, and then behaving and living in a way that reflects those values. This process can be challenging and confronting as your world, as you know and believe it, starts changing as you start living with the awareness and intention to change and transform your life.

For a lot of people this can be incredibly challenging - the changes after all can be monumental. Changing things up brings risk into the equation. That risk is about letting go of things, people, beliefs and behaviours that have defined you and your life. These changes often challenge your security, your status and your ego. Many people do not entertain doing these things as it is far too daunting - and quite ironically life changing.

Many choose not to take up the challenge - the well worn path of what is believed and known, is far safer than the unknown and the unchartered regions of possibility and potential. I call it the uncomfortable comfort zone. That is, the decision (and it is always a decision..) to stay and exist in a situation or a state of mind where it appears easier to keep things the way they are to avoid the pain of change and moving into the unknown.

It can take incredible energy, willpower, discipline, motivation and inspiration to make the decision to consciously change your life - and to follow it through. It is near on impossible to make these changes if you are not clear on the way/s to do this. Often the best intentions are just nowhere near enough. Need proof on that? Failed New Year Resolutions are a good example of the best intentions just fading away. Add fad diets, failed fitness plans, and relationship and career intentions to that as well.

The biggest risk of failure (to reach a goal for example) is to blindly set out and declare you want change where there is no foundation, no aligned personal values, and no real commitment to the process towards achieving the outcome.

Lets look at some of the things you can do to align to your lifestyle vision:[green_tick_1_list width="100%"]

• Firstly you need to create one!
• It needs to reflect what is really important to you - NOT what is important to others, or what you think might be important to others, or even what others might say is important for you. This is all about YOU. You live your life - not anyone else.
• Introspection and time to think...and not think. Call this mindfulness, awareness, meditation, quiet contemplation or whatever. Start the journey to understanding you more and what really makes you happy, joyful and contented in life.
• Once you are clear/er on what is important to you and what you value, start behaving your way towards that vision. Behaviour in alignment to values calibrates effective and lasting change. You are not sending mixed messages to yourself and the world around you because you are living authentically.
• Trust is incredibly important. Trust yourself. Trust that you are moving forward in life in ways that are congruent to your values and what is important to you.
• Be patient. Lasting transformational change can take time.
• Look for signs of improvement and success in your life towards your vision. A simple way to do this is to start using a gratitude journal to document what you are grateful for and what you are doing, and who you are being in pursuit of your vision.
• Whilst I would not advocate not listening to others, I would encourage you to listen to what they really might be saying. Advice is easy. Its readily available. It is also from someone elses perspective and experience. That does not necessarily mean it is not useful or indeed valid of course. A good rule of thumb is to listen with a strong sense of who you are and are becoming - others' fears and attachment to what they deem to be security and reality is really about them. Remember that well meaning people are not necessarily well understanding people.

[/green_tick_1_list]

There is much, much more to this. I will be exploring this in further blogs and programs. The key is to connect to who it is you are and to live your life on your terms - if that is what you choose to do of course. There are challenges and compromises along the journey to you, but with each day and each aligned action and intention, you move closer towards the life and the lifestyle that you truly want to live.

If you would like to learn more about how you can align to your values and move closer to living the life you want to live, a certified and credentialed life transformation coach can guide and support you through that process. If you would like further information, or would like to make an appointment for a coaching session please contact me.

*Craig Hedge is a Professional Coach and Lifestyle Mentor based in Hobart (nipaluna), Tasmania, Australia.
He is author of the Instinctive Living transformational self help ebook and audiobook series available on Amazon.