How would you know that you are present and engaged in living your own life? Importantly, how would you know if you weren't? There are a lot of people living lives so disconnected from the essence of who they are, or who they were, that they will perhaps never ever connect to that part or totality of themselves ever again. Sometime and somewhere a decision was made to move away from what was important to them to move towards something that ironically perhaps, was supposed to get them to reconnect to it at a later time. Sadly many lose sight of what was important to them and what inspired them to live their lives.
When we talk about being present and engaged in life we are talking about living in the moment. We live in a modern world where time is money, where action and doing is valued and acknowledged more than the being aspect of ourselves. A place where status and acquisitions, and the perception of those things, are all important. The result of this is that many of us are always struggling and striving to get to that next step or level or the next big thing. In other words we are always looking to fill up a part of ourselves that can never be filled. This is a glass half empty approach to life with a deficiency motivation mindset that can never ever get enough or feel enough. This is the world of ego - and ego is never satisfied.
So how do you manage this approach to life? Clearly this is not a simple exercise for many people who have already constructed their lives and set them up with this mindset and the values (both theirs and societies) and expectations that sustain it. One approach is to start getting you back. Just as you perhaps moved away from those things that inspired you, that gave you a sense of connection and joy, you must now start to reconnect with those things. For example; what makes you feel alive? When do you really feel that presence and engagement, no matter how fleeting, in your own life? What little things can you start doing right now that start bringing you more into the moment and more aligned to the person who you truly are or want to be?
The key is to start with the awareness that you are more than just a human doing - embrace the human being that you are. Understand that you are a human being who chooses to do certain things to live in a modern world. This is not about denouncing the important doing aspect of your life, its about embracing and engaging that part of you that is a living breathing whole person. That said then, this does not need to be a fundamental approach that chooses being over doing or the reverse. This is an acknowledgement that you are at your core a human being, and as such, the more you make a choice to be present and engaged in all that you do, the more you will start truly living your own life.